Sunday, May 29, 2011

Kris Humprey's $2Million Mistake

Kris Humphries just became a name.

Humphries, a backup center on the Nets, had been dating Kim Kardashian, who is essentially famous for being famous. Now, for a scrub on a terrible team, this would seem like a strange relationship, as she is well-known and people within his family probably were unaware the Humphries played professional basketball in the United States. Then, one takes a look at her dating career, and realizes that she collects professional athletes the way other women collect those creepy china dolls or knick knacks. Actually, this seems to be a family trait, as her fat ugly sister married Lamar Odom (which shows that he has HORRIBLE taste) and Bruce Jenner is her step-father.

So, realizing that he will never get a cash cow like this, Humphries gave her a $2Million engagement ring. Yes, that is a '2' with six zeros after it. Considering that he makes $3.2Million per year as a player, he just spent 5/8 of his salary on that ring. Giving her a ring of that caliber is the equivalent of hanging the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer by Gustav Klimt in an apartment in the Central Parkway neighborhood in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Now, this is not about Kim Kardashian....actually, yes it is. The only real difference between her and a hooker is that hookers get paid for what they do. Kardashian has ZERO redeeming social value, and exists mainly to give females the wrong idea as to what they should be when they grow up. She is proof that a not-so-accidentally leaked sex tape can launch your career and make you a star - unless you happen to be Dustin Diamond. But that is more about no one wanting to see Screech naked than anything else.

So Kris, enjoy being married to this waste of oxygen. Just don't expect it to last long, or to walk away without a venereal disease of five. That $2Million would have been better spent if you had lit it on fire.

No comments:

Post a Comment