Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Rob Gronkowski's Apology

Today, Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots apologized for having pictures taken with porn star BiBi Jones. He stated that it was not his intention to hurt the reputation of the Patriots, or to offend anyone with the pictures that were taken. In fact, Jones was adamant that nothing happened between them other than the pictures, even though she was willing.

So, what exactly is Gronkowski apologizing for? He had the opportunity to have pictures taken with an attractive female that just happens to be in porn. That’s an offense that people need an apology for? It’s not like BiBi Jones is a criminal or someone like Casey Anthony. She’s just a girl that’s probably ‘just trying to work her way through college’. Just because she enjoys being on her back, or knees, or on top of multiple guys, means absolutely nothing here.

If anything, Gronk should be apologizing for NOT nailing her. Hell, she’s probably had a phone book worth of guys that can lay claim to sampling her wares. Maybe there just isn’t enough tread left on the tires, and Gronk figured it would be like a hot dog in a hallway. But seriously, who really cares? Who in their right mind is going to get offended by these pictures? Who really thinks that Jones being in Gronk’s jersey is a sign that the Patriots organization supports porn? Idiots, that would be who.

If anything, Gronk was with the wrong porn star. Remember Bernie Kosar? Remember who Bill Belichick essentially ruined his career by trading for Vinny Testaverde when he was coach of the Cleveland Browns? Well, Kosar’s daughter happens to be porn actress Lexxi Silver. Figure that there can be a nice little connection there – Belichick ruined Kosar’s NFL career, and Gronk can ruin Kosar’s daughter for everyone that comes after him. Pretty sure that Belichick and Gronk would be high-fiving each other after that one.

Anyway, let us here at the blog be the first to say that we’re disappointed in Gronk. Not because he was hanging out with porn stars, but because he didn’t close the deal. Seriously, next time, man up and do what hundreds of guys before you have done – BiBi Jones

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

A Lose-Lose Situation

Every so often, there is a transaction or situation where both parties can claim victory. More often than not, one side will win, and the other side will lose. And still, there are those transactions and situations where both sides lose out. The latter situation is what the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox presently have.

First, the Cubs angle. They can point to the fact that Theo Epstein won two World Series rings with the Red Sox during his tenure. Yes, he did get those rings, but the fact of the matter is that he did not truly put those teams together. The core of the 2004 Red Sox team was put together by Dan Duquette, a man most commonly remembered for saying that Roger Clemens was done after allowing him to leave as a free agent following the 1996 season. Yes, Theo made the trade to get rid of Nomar, bringing in Doug Mientkiewicz and Orlando Cabrera, but who is to say that Duquette would not have made a similar move? Yes, trading Nomar when they did took balls, but Duquette was not afraid to make a huge splash either.

Then there is the 2007 championship. There were still a number of holdovers from that 2004 team, with the biggest additions being Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell. Both of those happened to come over during ap oint in time when Theo was not with the Sox, having infamously left in a power struggle with Larry Lucchino (more on him later).

So what has Theo actually done? He gets a lot of credit for rebuilding the Red Sox farm system, but a lot of the players that came up during his tenure and stayed with the Sox were, once again, Duquette draft picks. He did manage to sign such notable free agents as Julio Lugo, John Lackey, J.D. Drew, Matt Clement, Edgar Rentaria, Mike Cameron, Bobby Jenks, Carl Crawford, and Daisuke Matsuzaka however. Oh, wait. Those guys sucked. Where did he get that genius label from again?

Now he’s off to the Cubs, calling them the ‘ultimate challenge’. He’s brought over his guy, Jed Hoyer, to be the GM. The Cubs will now be run according to his ‘organizational philosophy’, which involves valuing draft picks over free agents. Over the past nine years, the Sox have had 32 first round and sandwich draft picks (mmmm…..sandwich….). The Cubs, meanwhile, have been dead last with 16. This will change, for better or for worse. At least he can’t be as bad as that previous waste of space they had a GM, Jim Hendry.

Now to the Red Sox.

Part of why Theo left the Sox was that he no longer would have to deal with Larry Lucchino, a man that is roughly as pleasant to deal with as a CarrotTop stand-up routine. Lucchino and Epstein had been in a power struggle pretty much since the beginning, leading the Sox to essentially have two voices trying to shout each other down. Larry would manipulate the public relations side of the team to whatever he felt his agenda was, while Theo would just ignore his verdicts sent down from on high. Yeah, that’s a great situation to be around.
Now that Theo is gone, Larry wins his personal war. But are the Red Sox better for it? For all his faults, Epstein did have a long term organizational view at heart. He truly did what he felt was right to put together a winning franchise on the field. Lucchino, being one of the owners of the team, even if he is a minority owner, is more concerned with filling Fenway with customers and getting ratings on NESN than he is with the won-loss record. If people tune in, why would he care if the Sox win or not?

Lucchino is also, by all accounts, a filthy rat. He is not a man to be trusted whatsoever, unless you want to find a knife protruding from your back. Given the history of the Red Sox in recent years of ripping people as they leave the organization, you can see why most people would trust Lucchino as far as they can throw him.
Now that slimy weasel has control of the Red Sox. Yes, Ben Cherington has been named as the Red Sox new GM, but it’s really going to be Lucchino pulling the strings from behind the scenes. This promises to be a train wreck. Since the Red Sox clubhouse is already in shambles, the team chemistry is atrocious, and the fan base is almost in meltdown mode, how can things get worse?

Well, for starters, they can do what they did and give Lucchino the keys. A person with zero experience making actual roster decisions now having what is essentially the final say over everything in a major market with seemingly unlimited  money to spend? Sounds a lot like what the Yankees were over the mid 1980′s to mid 1990′s. Welcome to bloated payrolls, short sighted signings, and a losing record for years to come. The GM and manager’s positions promise to be a revolving door, but who cares as long as people pack the ballpark and sing to Sweet Caroline?

Both teams lose in this situation. And both teams will continue to lose on the field for a long time.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Time Is Now

There are no more excuses for Chad Ocho Cinco. No longer can it be said that he’s going through an adjustment period. If he is going to perform at all for the Patriots, it will happen next week, or it will not happen at all.

Let’s put aside the sarcasm for a moment. Stop with the Ocho Stinko and the NoCatchO jokes. It’s time to face facts. First, Ocho Cinco did not have a full offseason to learn the playbook, the routes, and to get extra tutelage from Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. His offseason began at training camp; his first six weeks were his preseason. Quite simply, he had not had the time to adjust from being on the Bengals to coming to a perennial playoff team like the Patriots.

Also, expectations of what Ocho Cinco can be for the Patriots have to be tempered. Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez are major targets in the passing game. Wes Welker is the third down possession guy. Deion Branch is Brady’s favorite receiver, and always has been. So, in all seriousness, Ocho Cinco is, at best, the fifth target in the passing game. How many receptions can he realistically be expected to get?
However, the bye week has come at a fortunate time for Ocho Cinco. He has obviously gotten frustrated with his lack of performance. All he really wants is to be a contributing member of a championship caliber team, which he had never had the opportunity to be a part of.

Come Week 8 in the NFL? The excuses end. Either Ocho Cinco gets it, or he doesn’t. He has had his opportunity, and he must now seize it. If he doesn’t? Well, he will be nothing more than an afterthought, a forgotten man on a deep team that looks like it’s going to have a deep playoff run. And for Ocho Cinco, to be forgotten is worse than not being productive.

The time is now for Ocho Cinco, or it will never come.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Beginning Of An Error

With the benching of the much maligned Kyle Orton, it is officially Tebow Time in Denver. As the Broncos continue to search for the heir to John Elway, their search is beginning to look a lot like the Dolphins quest to replace Dan Marino. There have been failed prospects, trades that did not work out, and incompetent coaches which have all served to set back the process of moving forward. And Tim Tebow is merely the latest roadblock.

Is Football Jesus an athlete? Yes. But is he a quarterback? The answer is a resounding NO!!! What Tebow happens to be is a college quarterback who made a name for himself with what he is off the field. If one ignores the name on the back of the jersey and looks at what the person does on the field, then Football Jesus is nothing more than a practice squad player if he’s lucky.

Now, it is certainly possible that Football Jesus will have a good career – in the Canadian Football League. To be an NFL quarterback, you need to be able to actually throw the football without a windup that makes it appear that one is doing the old cartoon windup where the arm spins around several times. Yeah, he can run, but can anyone respect his passing game? Defenses will be playing eight man fronts and contain against him within weeks, and what then? This is someone that fumbled three snaps in his brief time last game, and only connected on four of ten passes. Somehow, I doubt that opposing defenses are terrified of his abilities.

The biggest gripe that supports of Football Jesus have is that he has not been given a legitimate chance. Well, there happens to be another quarterback on the team that has not had a legitimate chance – Brady Quinn. Quinn has starting experience, but it was in the cesspool of football that is commonly referred to as the Cleveland Browns. He has had absolutely nothing in terms of weapons, a line, a defense, or a coaching staff to work with. Unlike Football Jesus, he actually progressed this offseason, showing a firmer grasp of the playbook and the finer mechanics of being a quarterback. Football Jesus, meanwhile, spent the offseason making underwear advertisements and pitching his autobiography. Seems a lot of people really needed to know what it’s like to hold a clipboard in the NFL. Oh, and Football Jesus has actually regressed this year in terms of pocket presence, awareness, and reading defenses. Yeah, that’s what the Broncos need at quarterback, someone that has no concept of how to be one.

So where are the billboards for Brady Quinn? When does the ‘Free Quinn’ movement begin? Where are the people trying to pressure John Fox into making Quinn the starter? That’s right, Quinn isn’t a name with zero NFL pedigree that has inexplicably created a legion of mindlessly loyal fans who will scream prejudice at anyone who even displays the slightest thought that their Chosen One is not a legitimate football player. Well, those people need to wake up.

Football Jesus is not the answer. Football Jesus will not be the salvation of the Denver Broncos. If anything, he will condemn the Broncos to roam the draft boards like the Wandering Jew is condemned to roam the Earth. Enjoy what you have brought upon yourselves, Broncos fans. Sometimes it is better not to receive what you want.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

In Tribute of Al Davis

Oakland Raiders owner and managing general partner Al Davis died today, at age 82. Davis was an NFL legend, whose career in the game began 60 years ago, when he became an assistant with the Baltimore Colts. Davis then became an assistant at the Citadel, then moved on to Southern California. He joined the Los Angeles Chargers in 1960, before being hired as the youngest general manager/head coach in NFL history by the Raiders in 1963. He would later purchase the team after leading them to a 23-16-1 record as coach.

Davis was also the final commissioner of the AFL, and spearheaded a movement that eventually caused the NFL-AFL merger in 1970. A truce had been established where NFL and AFL teams would not sign each others players, but that truce was broken by the New York Giants, when they signed Buffalo kicker Pete Gogolak. To Davis, that meant that he could go after anyone he wanted, so he pursued multiple NFL players, including John Brodie and Roman Gabriel.

Davis went back to the Raiders after the merger, overseeing a franchise that would win Super Bowls in 1976, 1980, and 1983. He gave a number of young coaches their first chance, including John Madden and Mike Shanahan. He hired not only the first black head coach of the modern era in Art Shell, but also the first Latino head coach in NFL history in Tom Flores. He was a true visionary for the league, and for as much attention as the Rooney Rule gets, Davis never cared about race. He only cared about a person’s football acumen.

Up until the end, the lived by his own beliefs, content to be the rebel. He was the only owner not to vote in favor of the new CBA, stating that he felt that the decrease in practice time that was included in the CBA would hurt coaching. He was also incredably loyal to his players and the Raiders. To be a Raider was to be a Raider for life. He would help former players, old friends, and distant relatives if he heard they were having problems, never caring for any publicity for it. Davis knew his reputation, and did everything he could to maintain it publicly.

While he may have been ridiculed recently for some of his personnel decisions, he appeared to have regained his ability to scout players over the last two drafts. He took on players that other teams were trying to dump in Jason Campbell and Richard Seymour, providing veteran presence to his young team. He found steals in Denarius Moore and Lamarr Houston. He plucked Kevin Boss from free agency, who fits the Raiders tight end mold perfectly. The Raiders appeared to be poised to return to the forefront.

Unfortunately, Davis will not be around to see the Raiders return to the playoffs. Yet Davis, more than the pirate logo or the silver and black uniforms, was the identity of the Raiders organization. He was, and always will be, what the Raiders are. He will be missed, but for as long as the Raiders and the NFL exist, he will never be forgotten.

Friday, October 7, 2011

The Super Bowl Halftime Show

Remember back when the Super Bowl would have halftime performances that people younger than forty knew who the acts were? Well, that ended back when Janet Jackson showed her nipple, and only her plastic surgeon was excited. However, as we live in a country where it’s ok to permit George Lopez to have a television show and Paris Hilton is allowed to exist, yet sexuality is frowned upon, this immediately set off a political correctness firestorm. As the FCC and the media overreact to everything, this was denounced as the biggest travesty since Gerald Ford became President
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Since that point, the halftime ‘entertainment’ at the Super Bowl has involved a series of bands that are further past their prime than Brett Favre. Even though one of the acts featured renowned pervert Pete Townshend, it was still considered better than having a repeat performance of the ill-fated Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson moment. Even if Townshend was to be hitting on some six year old in the audience, it was not like he was going to expose himself publicly. Unless, of course, that six year old was really asking for it.

Now, for this year, we have the news that Madonna is going to be performing at halftime. Madonna does fit what the NFL has used over roughly the past decade – a washed up artist or group that is still well known. However, people are forgetting one very important thing – namely, that this is Madonna. Look at her history. Jose Canseco. Dennis Rodman. The ‘Sex’ book. Making out with Britney Spears at the VMAs. Numerous movie rolls where she has sex with anything. Her well known and deserved reputation as a whore. Was this forgotten about?

Add to this the fact that Madonna’s career is almost as dead as Helen Keller, and this promises to be a special evening. Will she be wearing a velcro suit that she rips off during the performance, and frolics around naked on stage? Will she attempt to masterbate with the Lombardi Trophy? Will she attempt to have sex with every member of both teams before/after/during the game? And will she attempt to coerce some random person from Malawi to let her adopt his kid? Hey, maybe she goes for the gold and tries to do all of that. While doing a couple of the cheerleaders there, just to show that she’s an equal opportunity whore.

Actually, this is a good move for the NFL. People will actually want to do something other than wake up their great grandparents when the halftime act gets on stage, since they were the only ones that could remember when these groups were young. People will be waiting to see if she brings any barnyard animals on stage, and gives an unforgettable halftime show.

Sit back and enjoy the fireworks, because this has all the potential to be a train wreck.