Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Isiah Thomas Returns - Part Five?

Imagine for a moment that you own a business. In the past, this business had been rather successful, ranking near the top in it's respective field. However, the business has fallen upon hard times recently, and needs help to achieve it's former level of greatness. As such, you are looking for someone to lead the business back.

Amongst your candidates, there are people that have been successful in the type of business that you own, there is someone that has learned the position by working his way through the ranks, and then there is someone that destroyed the last four companies he has been a part of over the last ten years. Obviously, that last person is not someone you would seriously consider, right?

Unless, apparently, you happen to be the Detroit Pistons. Their present head coaching search is down to four people - Mike Woodson, Kelvin Sampson, Bill Laimbeer, and......Isiah Thomas. Yes, that Isiah Thomas. The same Isiah Thomas that managed to bankrupt the Continental Basketball Association two years after purchasing it. The Isiah Thomas that took a talented Pacers team that had just come off an NBA Finals appearance, yet was unable to get them past the first round. The same Isiah Thomas that ran the New York Knicks into the ground, both in the front office and as a coach - yet was almost brought back last year as an advisor. And yes, the same Isiah Thomas that is presently attempting to coach in college basketball without anything resembling success.

All of this does not take into account the various scandals that have marked his career either. From his attempts to freeze out Michael Jordan during the All-Star game, to his being sued for sexual harassment while with the Knicks, to his being hospitalized for an overdose of Lunesta (and trying to cover it up by claiming his daughter was the one getting the medical attention), to the Knicks having illegal workouts with draft prospects while he was in the front office, Thomas is toxic. Stay away at all costs.

We here at Mr. Dave's Sports Blog are aware that making fun of Isiah Thomas is roughly akin to beating up Helen Keller - too easy. Yet, despite his long list of failures, Thomas continually returns in the ranks of basketball. Either he has pictures of someone in the NBA that allow him to continue getting employment, or he is David Stern's version of the retarded kid that works at McDonald's washing dishes for $3.00 per hour. Nice to know that the NBA's favorite charity involves watching Thomas pretend to be a competent basketball coach/executive/towel boy while not having the capabilities to manage my cat.

So, Detroit, bring Isiah Thomas back as your coach at your own peril. Just expect failure at an epic level.

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