Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Eli Manning's Delusions of Grandeur

Allow us for a moment to take a look at one Tom Brady. We have before us a quarterback that has won three Super Bowls, is considered an all-time great at his position, and is a top five quarterback for the history of the NFL. Brady understands an offense, manages to avoid making mistakes with the football, and does not get completely flummoxed when things around him are not going perfectly.

Matching up with Brady, there is Peyton Manning. Peyton has won a Super Bowl himself, is on pace to shatter the passing records held by one Wrangler jeans wearing gunslinger from Mississippi, and is essentially an offensive coordinator in the guise of a football player. Another top five quarterback of all time, and one of the few players in football history that can be considered on par with Brady.

Then there is Peyton's brother Eli. Eli, who constantly throws terrible passes into double or triple coverage with the consistency of one gunslinger, only without the arm strength or receiving help. Eli, who is easily confused and flustered when a defense attacks him. Eli, who has made one Pro Bowl in his seven year career. Eli, who according to footballreference.com, compares best to David Garrard and Jake Delhomme for his career.

So, which of the Mannings would think they are in the same class as Tom Brady?

If you guessed Peyton, you would be wrong. That's right, ol' Eli thinks he is a top notch quarterback and in the same class as Tom Brady. Well, some news for you Eli. Brady is top five all-time. You're not even top ten in the NFL presently. When the game is on the line, aside for that one ridiculous helmet catch made by David Tyree (his last NFL reception, incidentally), no one is going to pick you over Brady.

Let's compare careers. Brady has a total of 103 interceptions over ten years. Eli has 113 in six years. Brady averages passing for 239.6 yards per game, Eli 215.7. Brady's quarterback rating is 95.2 - fifth best in NFL history and fourth amongst current players. Eli is at 80.2 for a rating, which is 57th all time, and 23rd amongst current players. In fact, Eli ranks below such players as Jason Campbell, Jake Delhomme, and Matt Cassel in quarterback rating amongst active players. Brady completes 63.6% of his passes, Eli 58%. Brady is a six time Pro-Bowler, two time MVP, two time Super Bowl MVP, and a two time first team All-Pro. Eli has that one Pro Bowl and a Super Bowl MVP. That's it.

If this was high school, Brady would be in the advanced placement courses, and looking to get into a prestigious university with a full scholarship. Eli would be barely passing, and looking to either join the workforce or struggle at a community college. Same class? No chance.

Where did these delusions of grandeur come from? Did the glue from the fake mustache he wore in his most recent advertisement create fumes that gave him hallucinations? Has he been hit in the head a few too many times? Did Peyton give him one of those 'Priceless Pep Talks'? Is being adequate really enough to make him think that he's actually a competent quarterback?

The only way Eli Manning is in the same class as Tom Brady is in his dreams. Someone should wake him up and bring him to reality.

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