Sunday, August 7, 2011

Shut Up Rex Ryan

Rex Ryan is a man of obsessions, some of which are stronger than others. Yet, through it all, he has one thing that is most on his mind - his main fixation. No, he is not most obsessed with winning Super Bowls. Nor is he most obsessed with being the center of attention whenever a microphone and /or video camera may be anywhere nearby. In fact, he is not even this obsessed with his peculiar personal fetish of people's feet. No, his main fixation is none other than the New England Patriots and their head coach, , Bill Belichick.

Over the course of his tenure as head coach of the Jets, he has consistantly gone out of his way to poke at the Patriots and Belichick. While his stated goal each season is to win the Super Bowl, or so he claims, it is his actions and words that prove otherwise. Seemingly every other word that comes from his mouth is directed at the Patriots and Belichick, and for what purpose? He knows that Belichick is not going to engage him in a bout of sarcastic posturing before the bright lights and shiny microphones of the assembled masses of the media. What purpose does this serve?

What this does is give a glimpse into the psyche of a man who has essentially become a parody of himself. We now know that Belichick is on his mind more than whether or not his wife still has that hot bunion on her toe or if he should get a goddamned snack. In fact, if Rex Ryan spent nearly as much time on trying to develop Mark Sanchez as he does trying to come up with sarcastic rejoinders about the Patriots, then maybe his quarterback would be good for something other than being the focal point of countless off-color fantasy football team names.

As such, shut up Rex Ryan. Until you win a Super Bowl, stop talking about a coach that is lightyears better than you could possibly imagine being, and use your mouth for all-you-can-eat buffets and your wife's toes.

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