Monday, December 19, 2011

Farewell To The Greatest

Sad news came across the sports universe the other day, as the greatest athlete in the history of ever has passed. No, we are not talking about Muhammad Ali or Bo Jackson. This man outshined both. Indeed, Jim Thorpe and Babe Didrickson Zaharias were not even close to the level of pure athleticism possessed by this man, the most natural of athletes in the history of ever. Yes, we are here to mourn the passing of that true legend of sport – Kim Jung Il.

Golf is a difficult hobby to master. Unless, of course, you happen to be Kim Jung Il, a man so amazing that even the Dos Equis guy felt worthless when confronted by his presence. Kim Jung Il had five holes in one. In one game. The first time he ever played. In fact, he shot a 36 for the game. And that was only because he played the last five holes blindfolded. Tiger who? This man would have destroyed the PGA if he wasn’t so busy being the benevolent leader to the masses.

Apparently bored, Kim Jung Il switched his attention to bowling. He then promptly bowled a 300. First time he ever bowled as well. In fact, his bowling prowress was so astonishing that the pins fell on their own accord when he walked up after the first five frames, just to avoid being struck by a ball flung with the power of the gods themselves. It’s a good thing for the PBA that he never joined, otherwise that tour would have been in a North Korean stranglehold for years.

So today, put aside a little time to remember a true legend in the world of sport. Kim Jung Il was the greatest athlete that ever lived. Just check the North Korean newspapers.

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