Peyton Manning For 2011 MVP

One would think that the Colts organization, by all accounts a rather astute group of football minds, would have realized that getting a legitimate backup for Peyton Manning should be on their list of priorities. Yes, before this year, Manning was more durable than the scalpel used by Joan Rivers’ surgeon; however, teams need to plan for emergencies. Seriously, Jeff Garcia wouldn’t have taken that job in a heartbeat?

But no, the Colts proceeded to go through the likes of Jim Sorgi and Curtis Painter as their primary backups to Manning. Apparently, players like Spergon Wynn were beyond the talent level needed at that position. The questions asked by Colts management must have been whether or not they can carry a clipboard while wearing shoulder pads and if they like hats. If you answered yes to both of those questions, then you could have been a Colts backup quarterback as well.

All of this ignored that Manning was literally everything to that organization. Their head coach’s coaching style is reminiscent of a blaxploitation version of the corpse from Weekend At Bernie’s. In fact, are we even sure that Jim Caldwell is alive? Has anyone seen the man blink? And what is he doing with that headset on, monitoring the drive-thru worker at the local McDonald’s as he takes orders? Useless.

And yet, Caldwell is not the only problem. They have not had a useful running back since the reign of James I (Edgerrin) ended in 2005. Their attempts to draft a running back have met with the same success that Vanilla Ice had with his album ‘Mind Blowin’. This even includes the coming of James II, Edgerrin’s cousin Javarris. In fact, despite spending two first round draft choices on the position since 2006. In fact, they have blown their last five first round picks. Winning franchises do not do that – they find actual playmakers. Teams like the Bengals, Bills, and Lions blow all of their first round picks, not teams that are supposed to be in the upper echelon of franchises like the Colts.

Then there is the train wreck that is loosely referred to as the Colts defense. They would not be able to an opposing offense that was comprised of eleven Helen Kellers. Dwight Freeney is still considered an impact player, but he is almost as old as Jeanne Calment was when she died. Pat Angerer has a great name for a linebacker, and is a tackling machine, but he is not a playmaker at all. The cupboard is completely barren on this side of the ball.

The only reason why the Colts were contenders year after year was Peyton Manning. Even though the season is only two weeks in, this has been proven beyond any doubt, given the absolute inability by the Colts to display even gross incompetence on the field. Yes, the Indianapolis Colts are playing football worse than France fares when it comes to a war since the times of Napoleon. Was their plan to find a backup to Manning to go 0-16, draft Andrew Luck, and hope he will be ready when the time comes? Because it sure seems like that was the plan.

Sadly, this also seems to be the plan being taken by the Kansas City Chiefs, who are playing more like the Chefs presently. At least they can point to numerous injuries as to why they have problems. In fact, avoid football entirely during Week 5 of the NFL season, in case you accidentally see any part of the Chiefs-Colts battle for the first overall pick. People that see this game may experience symptoms such as vomiting, breaking out in cold sweats, and having flashbacks of watching Jack Trudeau attempting to play quarterback. The only way to get rid of these symptoms would be to swallow a shotgun. Sorry, but terrible football is a fatal disease. Wonder if this suckfest will end in a 0-0 tie……

By not playing, Peyton Manning has proven to be more valuable than any one person currently playing for their teams. It’s time for the voters for the annual NFL awards to step outside the box, and vote Peyton Manning for 2011 MVP.

What is the true problem with the Colts?

With today's loss to the Dallas Cowboys, the Indianapolis Colts have dropped to 6-6 on the season. Over the past three games, all losses, Peyton manning has been uncharacteristically sloppy with the football, throwing for eleven interceptions. To put this streak into context, the last time Manning threw three interceptions in back to back games was during the first two games of his rookie season. Presently, he is in uncharted territory for him, and things do not appear to be getting any better any time soon.

So, what is the cause of this sudden and shocking inability to protect the football and win games? Is it a defense that cannot stop anyone from running the ball? Would all the injuries to key personnel on offense have anything to do with this? The embarrassing lack of anything resembling a running game, so the play action passes are completely ineffective? Perhaps, but Manning has dealt with terrible defenses, no running game, and injuries on offense before. He has always found a way to win football games, regardless of who he has on the field.

As such, the focus must fall upon the coaching staff, in particular Jim Caldwell. He is roughly as animated as a cardboard cutout on the sidelines. He doesn't speak during the games, doesn't make adjustments at halftime, and seems entirely clueless about what it takes to be the head coach of a football team. Yes, I realize that this was Tony Dungy's hand-picked successor, but that doesn't mean that Caldwell has the same lack of reaction as would be expected from someone trying out for the lead for Weekend At Bernie's 4 - Coaching In The NFL.

Prior to Caldwell taking the reins, the Colts had won twelve or more games for six consecutive years. Last season, they managed a 14-2 record, in spite of a coach that may as well be listening to Barry Manilow through his headset. This season, Caldwell has reached a level of incompetence matched only by Edward Smith, who was the captain of the Titanic. Why make adjustments when we can stay the course? What's the worst that can happen?

This season, the Colts ship has struck the iceberg and is sinking fast. This team is too talented, even while missing a number of key players on both side of the ball, to miss the playoffs and lose the AFC South to Jacksonville. Manning is too good of a quarterback, and is capable of willing this team to victory, as he has a number of times before during the regular season.

After the San Diego game, members of the defense said that they were able to call out the plays as Manning was barking signals at the line. There is no movement on offense. Sets do not change, and the plays run out of them remain the same. Adjustments must be made to the offense, and this falls upon the coaching staff. Based on what has been seen thus far this season, don't expect that to happen. Sometimes talented teams are let down by egos, by injuries, or by an inability to get on the same page. In this case, the Colts are being let down by their coaching staff.