Ah, the Fourth of July. A day where America celebrates it's independence by getting drunk, watching people walk down streets in costumes, blowing a chunk of itself up, and by going to the emergency room for mishaps while handling fireworks. Also, the Fourth of July marks another tradition - the annual homage to gluttony that is the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Now that there are such things as 'professional food eating' and 'major league eating', gluttony is no longer one of the seven deadly sins. It is no longer a problem that causes obesity in a country where the obesity rate has doubled from 15% in 1980 to 30% today. No, now they are trying to market watching fat people stuffing their faces with large quantities of various foods as a sport.
News flash - stuffing your face is not a sport. If it was, then the All You Can Eat Buffet at Ponderosa is home to some serious sports talent. In fact, the people there are constantly sweating, although it is from the strain of walking five feet to get their tenth helping of mashed potatoes as opposed to exercising. At least their jaw muscles are highly developed.
So today, you have a choice. You can either watch some freak try to eat as many hotdogs as they can in ten minutes without throwing up, or you can do anything else. Honestly, this shouldn't even be a question. If you want to see freaks of nature, find the bearded woman from the circus or Bat Boy from the Weekly World News. Hell, you could even go find Paris Hilton. Just don't watch this spectacle of waste and gluttony.
Showing posts with label society. Show all posts
Showing posts with label society. Show all posts
Monday, July 4, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Kris Humprey's $2Million Mistake
Kris Humphries just became a name.
Humphries, a backup center on the Nets, had been dating Kim Kardashian, who is essentially famous for being famous. Now, for a scrub on a terrible team, this would seem like a strange relationship, as she is well-known and people within his family probably were unaware the Humphries played professional basketball in the United States. Then, one takes a look at her dating career, and realizes that she collects professional athletes the way other women collect those creepy china dolls or knick knacks. Actually, this seems to be a family trait, as her fat ugly sister married Lamar Odom (which shows that he has HORRIBLE taste) and Bruce Jenner is her step-father.
So, realizing that he will never get a cash cow like this, Humphries gave her a $2Million engagement ring. Yes, that is a '2' with six zeros after it. Considering that he makes $3.2Million per year as a player, he just spent 5/8 of his salary on that ring. Giving her a ring of that caliber is the equivalent of hanging the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer by Gustav Klimt in an apartment in the Central Parkway neighborhood in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Now, this is not about Kim Kardashian....actually, yes it is. The only real difference between her and a hooker is that hookers get paid for what they do. Kardashian has ZERO redeeming social value, and exists mainly to give females the wrong idea as to what they should be when they grow up. She is proof that a not-so-accidentally leaked sex tape can launch your career and make you a star - unless you happen to be Dustin Diamond. But that is more about no one wanting to see Screech naked than anything else.
So Kris, enjoy being married to this waste of oxygen. Just don't expect it to last long, or to walk away without a venereal disease of five. That $2Million would have been better spent if you had lit it on fire.
Humphries, a backup center on the Nets, had been dating Kim Kardashian, who is essentially famous for being famous. Now, for a scrub on a terrible team, this would seem like a strange relationship, as she is well-known and people within his family probably were unaware the Humphries played professional basketball in the United States. Then, one takes a look at her dating career, and realizes that she collects professional athletes the way other women collect those creepy china dolls or knick knacks. Actually, this seems to be a family trait, as her fat ugly sister married Lamar Odom (which shows that he has HORRIBLE taste) and Bruce Jenner is her step-father.
So, realizing that he will never get a cash cow like this, Humphries gave her a $2Million engagement ring. Yes, that is a '2' with six zeros after it. Considering that he makes $3.2Million per year as a player, he just spent 5/8 of his salary on that ring. Giving her a ring of that caliber is the equivalent of hanging the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer by Gustav Klimt in an apartment in the Central Parkway neighborhood in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Now, this is not about Kim Kardashian....actually, yes it is. The only real difference between her and a hooker is that hookers get paid for what they do. Kardashian has ZERO redeeming social value, and exists mainly to give females the wrong idea as to what they should be when they grow up. She is proof that a not-so-accidentally leaked sex tape can launch your career and make you a star - unless you happen to be Dustin Diamond. But that is more about no one wanting to see Screech naked than anything else.
So Kris, enjoy being married to this waste of oxygen. Just don't expect it to last long, or to walk away without a venereal disease of five. That $2Million would have been better spent if you had lit it on fire.
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