Well, LeBron James has now lost another title – the coveted mantle of being the most hated player in the NBA.
Kris Humphries, he of the 78 day marriage to a Kardashian, was voted as the most heated player by the public, with a whopping 50% of people stating that they hate him. Perhaps this is due to the overexposure of the Kardashian family (Lamar Odom was 10th). Perhaps this is because he wasted an obscene amount of money on an engagement ring. Or perhaps this is because Kardashian fans are complete and utter morons.
The venom from fans of the Kardashian Show towards Kris Humphries has to do with him telling Kim Kardashian that she “has no talent and a fat ass.” Know what? He’s right! She does have a fat ass. Ever listen to her sing or try to act? She doesn’t have any talent, unless it involves that sex tape that made her famous. Even then, she really doesn’t seem that worthwhile. Seriously, why would anyone want to nail her, especially since they would have to listen to whatever inanity she babbled about afterwards? One can only listen to “I like shoes” and “I’m a spoiled rich bitch” for so long before wanting to throttle themselves with barbed wire.
So, the whole KarHump (what I think they should have been called, since she’s a whore and probably humped in many cars) thing got Kris Humphries a lot more than the multitude of venereal diseases that he now has. It also got him notoriety, as the NBA’s Most Hated Player. Enjoy those fifteen minutes of fame Kris. This time next year, no one will remember you.
Showing posts with label Kris Humphries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kris Humphries. Show all posts
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Kris Humphries $2Million Mistake - Part Three
Looks like a $2Million engagement ring gets one 72 days of marriage.
Apparently, Kim Kardashian claims that Kris Humphries is ‘not the man she thought he was’. Well, what exactly did she think she was getting? When she heard he was a basketball player on the Nets, did she really think that he would be any good? Did she confuse Kris Humphries and Deron Williams, the only Nets player with any appreciable talent? Did she think that since he was an athlete, that people would know who he was without a google search?
According to various media reports, the crux of their issues stem from Humphries partying without her during the NBA lockout. Well, since he is obviously the type of guy to be attracted to skanks, why would he want her around when picking up other gutter trash? Besides, she would probably be cramping his style by getting it on with various other people in the restroom. Or on the dance floor. Or in a cage above the dance floor. Or on the stage, with her reality show producers filming every second of it.
But this marriage was not a complete failure, especially not for Kris Humphries. He has gotten something out of that $2Million he spent and the 72 days spent having to disinfect areas that Kim Kardashian squatted in. He got some fame. People know who he is, outside of the five die-hard NBA fans that are still left. He also probably has herpes, syphillis, gonorrhea, crabs, and a future sex tape or five that he can sell.
So, while we make fun of this sham of a marriage, there is one truly important lesson to be learned here. Kim Kardashian may be a complete whore, but she’s a high priced whore. It cost Kris Humphries $27,777.78 per day just to get her in bed. That is not a good return on investment, when a Kardashian look-alive probably costs a whole lot less. And probably has fewer venereal diseases that one needs to be concerned about.
Apparently, Kim Kardashian claims that Kris Humphries is ‘not the man she thought he was’. Well, what exactly did she think she was getting? When she heard he was a basketball player on the Nets, did she really think that he would be any good? Did she confuse Kris Humphries and Deron Williams, the only Nets player with any appreciable talent? Did she think that since he was an athlete, that people would know who he was without a google search?
According to various media reports, the crux of their issues stem from Humphries partying without her during the NBA lockout. Well, since he is obviously the type of guy to be attracted to skanks, why would he want her around when picking up other gutter trash? Besides, she would probably be cramping his style by getting it on with various other people in the restroom. Or on the dance floor. Or in a cage above the dance floor. Or on the stage, with her reality show producers filming every second of it.
But this marriage was not a complete failure, especially not for Kris Humphries. He has gotten something out of that $2Million he spent and the 72 days spent having to disinfect areas that Kim Kardashian squatted in. He got some fame. People know who he is, outside of the five die-hard NBA fans that are still left. He also probably has herpes, syphillis, gonorrhea, crabs, and a future sex tape or five that he can sell.
So, while we make fun of this sham of a marriage, there is one truly important lesson to be learned here. Kim Kardashian may be a complete whore, but she’s a high priced whore. It cost Kris Humphries $27,777.78 per day just to get her in bed. That is not a good return on investment, when a Kardashian look-alive probably costs a whole lot less. And probably has fewer venereal diseases that one needs to be concerned about.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Kris Humprey's $2Million Mistake - Part 2
When all you know how to be is a skank, cheating is part of the equation. After all, it is what skanks do.
As such, it is no surprise that the darling of the reality television world and skank extraordinaire Kim Kardashian was discovered to have cheated on her fiance Kris Humphries. Keeping with the Kardashian family tradition of collecting athletes, naturally she cheated on him with.....another athlete. Only this one is, if anything, more obscure than Kris Humphries.
Congratulations to New England Patriots backup safety Bret Lockett. Lockett is a third year player who was on the injured reserve all of the 2010 season with a chest injury, presumably from having Kardashian's fat ass sitting on it. Now, Lockett has become a name in the sports and entertainment world, for the fifteen minutes of fame he will be allowed. In addition to his new-found fame, Lockett has also won several venereal diseases, a placard on the Kardashian Athlete Sex Wall, and a lifetime of envy from those people that find her attractive.
Meanwhile, what is Kris Humphries to do? He just blew 5/8th of his yearly salary, right before the inevitable NBA lockout, on an engagement ring for someone that has been around the block so often that Jenna Jameson thinks she's a slut. He could break up with her, but there is no way he gets that money back, and, while Kardashian is a cow, she's a cash cow at that. By staying with her, he forever forfeits his man card, and will probably have the other members of the Nets getting her phone number. At least banging Kim Kardashian is an incentive for Deron Williams to stay with the Nets, right?
Anyone who is surprised by this needs to get their heads examined. After all, Kim Kardashian is all about herself.
As such, it is no surprise that the darling of the reality television world and skank extraordinaire Kim Kardashian was discovered to have cheated on her fiance Kris Humphries. Keeping with the Kardashian family tradition of collecting athletes, naturally she cheated on him with.....another athlete. Only this one is, if anything, more obscure than Kris Humphries.
Congratulations to New England Patriots backup safety Bret Lockett. Lockett is a third year player who was on the injured reserve all of the 2010 season with a chest injury, presumably from having Kardashian's fat ass sitting on it. Now, Lockett has become a name in the sports and entertainment world, for the fifteen minutes of fame he will be allowed. In addition to his new-found fame, Lockett has also won several venereal diseases, a placard on the Kardashian Athlete Sex Wall, and a lifetime of envy from those people that find her attractive.
Meanwhile, what is Kris Humphries to do? He just blew 5/8th of his yearly salary, right before the inevitable NBA lockout, on an engagement ring for someone that has been around the block so often that Jenna Jameson thinks she's a slut. He could break up with her, but there is no way he gets that money back, and, while Kardashian is a cow, she's a cash cow at that. By staying with her, he forever forfeits his man card, and will probably have the other members of the Nets getting her phone number. At least banging Kim Kardashian is an incentive for Deron Williams to stay with the Nets, right?
Anyone who is surprised by this needs to get their heads examined. After all, Kim Kardashian is all about herself.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Kris Humprey's $2Million Mistake
Kris Humphries just became a name.
Humphries, a backup center on the Nets, had been dating Kim Kardashian, who is essentially famous for being famous. Now, for a scrub on a terrible team, this would seem like a strange relationship, as she is well-known and people within his family probably were unaware the Humphries played professional basketball in the United States. Then, one takes a look at her dating career, and realizes that she collects professional athletes the way other women collect those creepy china dolls or knick knacks. Actually, this seems to be a family trait, as her fat ugly sister married Lamar Odom (which shows that he has HORRIBLE taste) and Bruce Jenner is her step-father.
So, realizing that he will never get a cash cow like this, Humphries gave her a $2Million engagement ring. Yes, that is a '2' with six zeros after it. Considering that he makes $3.2Million per year as a player, he just spent 5/8 of his salary on that ring. Giving her a ring of that caliber is the equivalent of hanging the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer by Gustav Klimt in an apartment in the Central Parkway neighborhood in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Now, this is not about Kim Kardashian....actually, yes it is. The only real difference between her and a hooker is that hookers get paid for what they do. Kardashian has ZERO redeeming social value, and exists mainly to give females the wrong idea as to what they should be when they grow up. She is proof that a not-so-accidentally leaked sex tape can launch your career and make you a star - unless you happen to be Dustin Diamond. But that is more about no one wanting to see Screech naked than anything else.
So Kris, enjoy being married to this waste of oxygen. Just don't expect it to last long, or to walk away without a venereal disease of five. That $2Million would have been better spent if you had lit it on fire.
Humphries, a backup center on the Nets, had been dating Kim Kardashian, who is essentially famous for being famous. Now, for a scrub on a terrible team, this would seem like a strange relationship, as she is well-known and people within his family probably were unaware the Humphries played professional basketball in the United States. Then, one takes a look at her dating career, and realizes that she collects professional athletes the way other women collect those creepy china dolls or knick knacks. Actually, this seems to be a family trait, as her fat ugly sister married Lamar Odom (which shows that he has HORRIBLE taste) and Bruce Jenner is her step-father.
So, realizing that he will never get a cash cow like this, Humphries gave her a $2Million engagement ring. Yes, that is a '2' with six zeros after it. Considering that he makes $3.2Million per year as a player, he just spent 5/8 of his salary on that ring. Giving her a ring of that caliber is the equivalent of hanging the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer by Gustav Klimt in an apartment in the Central Parkway neighborhood in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Now, this is not about Kim Kardashian....actually, yes it is. The only real difference between her and a hooker is that hookers get paid for what they do. Kardashian has ZERO redeeming social value, and exists mainly to give females the wrong idea as to what they should be when they grow up. She is proof that a not-so-accidentally leaked sex tape can launch your career and make you a star - unless you happen to be Dustin Diamond. But that is more about no one wanting to see Screech naked than anything else.
So Kris, enjoy being married to this waste of oxygen. Just don't expect it to last long, or to walk away without a venereal disease of five. That $2Million would have been better spent if you had lit it on fire.
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