Shut Up Steve Williams

Who knew that the bag guy had such an illustrious career?

After carrying the golf clubs of Adam Scott during yesterday’s PGA Tour event, Steve Williams proclaimed it to be the greatest win of his career. This ‘career’ of his, which spans 33 years, allows him to claim credit for 145 wins. Of course, he has taken exactly ZERO swings during these victories, but they’re his dammit! Just like how ol’ Stevie was solely responsible for Tiger Woods’ run of success, as opposed to HGH, an ability to hit the green from 300+ yards out, or his ability to wear red shirts and fistpump viciously after hitting a putt.

In fact, the greatest moment of his career was oddly remeniscent to the greatest moment of Geraldo Rivera’s career. The only things that were missing were a thick mustache and Williams shouting ‘Happy Day!’ It’s pathetic when some overhyped bag man is at the same level of self-aggrandization as some idiot who once mugged HIMSELF in a bathroom and drew a backwards swasticka on his forehead.

This buffoon is handling his separation from Tiger Woods as though they broke up. Williams is playing the part of the jealous girlfriend perfectly, from rambling on about his ex all the time to obsessing over his every move to hooking up with someone they work with to try to make them jealous. Guess we know which one wore the skirt in that relationship.

So, shut up Steve Williams. Focus on your new relationship, and get used to carrying a bag without a tiger puppet on a golf club.