The Super Bowl Halftime Show

Remember back when the Super Bowl would have halftime performances that people younger than forty knew who the acts were? Well, that ended back when Janet Jackson showed her nipple, and only her plastic surgeon was excited. However, as we live in a country where it’s ok to permit George Lopez to have a television show and Paris Hilton is allowed to exist, yet sexuality is frowned upon, this immediately set off a political correctness firestorm. As the FCC and the media overreact to everything, this was denounced as the biggest travesty since Gerald Ford became President
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Since that point, the halftime ‘entertainment’ at the Super Bowl has involved a series of bands that are further past their prime than Brett Favre. Even though one of the acts featured renowned pervert Pete Townshend, it was still considered better than having a repeat performance of the ill-fated Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson moment. Even if Townshend was to be hitting on some six year old in the audience, it was not like he was going to expose himself publicly. Unless, of course, that six year old was really asking for it.

Now, for this year, we have the news that Madonna is going to be performing at halftime. Madonna does fit what the NFL has used over roughly the past decade – a washed up artist or group that is still well known. However, people are forgetting one very important thing – namely, that this is Madonna. Look at her history. Jose Canseco. Dennis Rodman. The ‘Sex’ book. Making out with Britney Spears at the VMAs. Numerous movie rolls where she has sex with anything. Her well known and deserved reputation as a whore. Was this forgotten about?

Add to this the fact that Madonna’s career is almost as dead as Helen Keller, and this promises to be a special evening. Will she be wearing a velcro suit that she rips off during the performance, and frolics around naked on stage? Will she attempt to masterbate with the Lombardi Trophy? Will she attempt to have sex with every member of both teams before/after/during the game? And will she attempt to coerce some random person from Malawi to let her adopt his kid? Hey, maybe she goes for the gold and tries to do all of that. While doing a couple of the cheerleaders there, just to show that she’s an equal opportunity whore.

Actually, this is a good move for the NFL. People will actually want to do something other than wake up their great grandparents when the halftime act gets on stage, since they were the only ones that could remember when these groups were young. People will be waiting to see if she brings any barnyard animals on stage, and gives an unforgettable halftime show.

Sit back and enjoy the fireworks, because this has all the potential to be a train wreck.