Brian Schottenheimer Is An Idiot

Let us suppose, for a brief moment in time, that you happen to be an offensive coordinator. Now, let us imagine that, while in this role, you happen to be facing the worst pass defense in the NFL. A defense that cannot get pressure on the quarterback, cannot cover, and routinely gets torched on plays downfield. This defense is starting street free agents, career backups, and people that even the most die-hard NFL fans have never even heard of. Naturally, the game plan to face this team would be to throw on them until they prove they can stop the pass, right?

Naturally, that would be the logical game plan. Unfortunately for the New York Jets, they have Brian Schottenheimer as their offensive coordinator, a man whose very lineage screams blatant incompetence in even the most mundane of tasks. This ‘offensive mastermind’ put together a brilliant game plan; and by ‘brilliant’, we mean that in the Guinness sense of the term. This man could not create a worse scheme even if he were to channel his inner Terl from ‘Battlefield Earth’.  Of course, only a Schottenheimer would decide to run constantly against the league’s worst pass defense! They’ll never see THAT coming!

Now, Schottenheimer obviously was staring blankly into space or contemplating important life questions, such as how he is still employed, when the Patriots lost their starting cornerback and safety. He was blissfully unaware that backup receiver Julian Edelman was their nickle defensive back due to all the injuries. And of course, this receiver put a hit on LaDanian Thomlinson that will probably keep him from playing in Week 11, proving once again that even soap bubbles are more durable than he is.

Even if Schottenheimer was incapable of noticing such things, he must have seen videos of the Steelers torching the Patriots secondary. Or the Giants torching the Patriots secondary. Or the Bills torching the Patriots secondary. Or, well, anyone that has played the Patriots this season. They made even the immortal Chad Henne look like a real NFL quarterback. Then again, maybe ol’ Rex Ryan was dominating the film room, watching footage of people’s feet.

In the end, the lack of recognition of the Patriots defense led to the Jets downfall. And has once again proven that Schottenheimer is German for ‘incompetent’.