Ah, the Fourth of July. A day where America celebrates it's independence by getting drunk, watching people walk down streets in costumes, blowing a chunk of itself up, and by going to the emergency room for mishaps while handling fireworks. Also, the Fourth of July marks another tradition - the annual homage to gluttony that is the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Now that there are such things as 'professional food eating' and 'major league eating', gluttony is no longer one of the seven deadly sins. It is no longer a problem that causes obesity in a country where the obesity rate has doubled from 15% in 1980 to 30% today. No, now they are trying to market watching fat people stuffing their faces with large quantities of various foods as a sport.
News flash - stuffing your face is not a sport. If it was, then the All You Can Eat Buffet at Ponderosa is home to some serious sports talent. In fact, the people there are constantly sweating, although it is from the strain of walking five feet to get their tenth helping of mashed potatoes as opposed to exercising. At least their jaw muscles are highly developed.
So today, you have a choice. You can either watch some freak try to eat as many hotdogs as they can in ten minutes without throwing up, or you can do anything else. Honestly, this shouldn't even be a question. If you want to see freaks of nature, find the bearded woman from the circus or Bat Boy from the Weekly World News. Hell, you could even go find Paris Hilton. Just don't watch this spectacle of waste and gluttony.
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